


In the Far-Hidden Heart

by Mara



Category: GARO (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-10
Updated: 2017-05-10
Packaged: 2018-10-30 03:50:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10868478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mara/pseuds/Mara
Summary: Kouga has no idea what he's doing and that's an uncomfortable feeling for the man who holds the title of Garo.





	In the Far-Hidden Heart

**Author's Note:**

> This is less plot and more stream-of-consciousness pondering of Kouga's feelings during season 1. (Yes, he has feelings. Yes, they're very well hidden. Very.) This fic takes place somewhere between episodes 14 and 16. Ish.

The woman—as Zaruba called her—was outside of Kouga's experience. Granted, most of modern life was outside his experience, but this woman, Mitsuki Kaoru, was baffling. Other than Makai priests, the women he encountered were generally possessed by Horrors, running away from Horrors, or relatives of those possessed.

They did a lot of screaming. And running. And not much else.

Kaoru also screamed, but she was usually screaming at him for some reason. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do about that. She yelled and argued and tried to get him to play games and was so full of _life_.

Kouga had never been good at lying to himself, so the pretense of her being bait hadn't lasted long. No matter how many times he told himself her death was inevitable, he found that answer unacceptable. It made him angry and then he found himself being ruder and ruder to her, which just made him angrier.

For a man whose entire life was based on power and control, everything about the situation was unacceptable.

Every move he made just made things worse. Zaruba's ring should have been a simple solution. It hadn't occurred to him that she would object or that rings related to marriage of all things. Why would he have known something that ridiculous? Why couldn't she just _listen to him?_

Even with the Horror blood, how in the world did she end up in these situations? He wondered this for the thousandth time as he waded through identical Horrors to where she perched atop a cabinet, flailing madly with a broom at the creatures below her. She was infuriating and had not the slightest sense of self-preservation even after everything she had seen.

"Kouga!" she shrieked as a lesser Horror almost grabbed her leg. "Help me!"

He only growled in response. What did she think he was doing? Playing bar chess?

And she was so contrary. Every time he tried to keep her near, she ran away, but when he pushed her away, she insisted on clinging to him. 

Calling his armor, he destroyed the Horrors plaguing her this time with five precisely placed slashes, dropping his armor immediately when he saw Kaoru droop. Almost tumbling off her perch, she landed securely in his arms, taking his breath away in a way the battle hadn't. He indulged himself for an instant, burying his face in her soft hair before he set her feet back on the ground. 

Kaoru looked up at him, her eyes wide. "Thank you," she said with a smile.

He nodded sharply. There must be something else he was supposed to do or say now, but he had no idea what. He had never thought about being in this position of…wanting. Of yearning for something he couldn't even describe.

Her smile turned a little strained and she patted his arm. "I need to go back to work."

He just nodded again, watching her as she walked out of the wrecked shop, looking remarkably steady for someone who had nearly died (again). Stepping out after her, somehow he wasn't surprised to find Zero perched on a brick wall and watching Kaoru as well. 

"If you don't want her, why haven't you killed her?" the boy asked, turning back to face Kouga.

Kouga gritted his teeth and tried to ignore him.

"Either way, you're going to hurt her. Maybe I should—"

"Leave her alone!" Kouga couldn't help the response.

"Like you're going to leave her alone until her inevitable horrifying death?" Zero leaped off the wall to land just inside Kouga's personal space, his smirk as irritating as ever.

"None of your business." Brushing past, Kouga kept walking.

"What if I make it my business?"

"Don't. Try. My. Patience."

Zero laughed. "You're so easy."

Kouga stalked away, seething. Was it so easy to rile him? How had he lost control?

* * *

Home again, he found Gonza polishing the dining room table. "Do you need something, sir?"

Kouga opened his mouth, then closed it.

"Hmm." Gonza looked at him. "Let me get you some tea."

"Yes," he muttered, sitting at the table.

Gonza returned with tea and sandwiches.

Kouga picked up a sandwich and stared at it morosely. "About Kaoru."

Carefully pouring the tea, Gonza prompted him after a few silent moments. "Yes, what about her?"

"Why do I…worry?"

There was a loud clink as Gonza apparently nearly dropped the teapot. "Sir."

"Never mind." Pushing back from the table and dropping the sandwich, Kouga stood.

"Master Kouga."

He paused, unable to turn back and look at his butler, the man who'd nearly raised him.

"What you feel for Miss Kaoru is normal. In fact, you remind me of your father after he met your mother."

Kouga closed his eyes.

"You care about her. It isn't a weakness."

Taking a careful breath, Kouga strode toward the training room. He needed to focus on something else.

* * *

He only made it through his first three exercises before his mind drifted again. This time to the disappointed look on Kaoru's face earlier.

This whole situation had only gotten worse since he returned Kaoru's soul to her body. When he looked at her now, he remembered holding her body against his own, touching his lips to hers, and how it had made him feel.

It wasn't that he didn't know what sexual attraction was. 

In theory. He'd read a book! 

Well, part of a book. 

He was fairly sure he'd tossed the book aside after reading about half, determining it wasn't at all useful in his quest to become a Makai knight. He supposed that this feeling in his gut when he looked at Kaoru was what the book had described, if his vague memory was anything to go on.

But his situation was different. He didn't have time to think about…bodies and bodily fluids. Zero was determined to kill him and the watchdogs were up to something and the Horrors just kept coming. He should be focused on research or training his body.

Which didn't explain why he had been standing in the middle of the training room just staring into space for some indeterminate amount of time.

"Damn it," Kouga said, sheathing his sword.

"Kouga?" Zaruba said, sounding uncharacteristically hesitant.

Biting back his initial snapped response, Kouga took a breath. "Yes?"

"Is Gonza correct? Do you care for the woman?"

Closing his eyes, Kouga stood still for a long moment, focusing on his breathing. "I...yes."

"She's g—"

"Don’t say it. We will find the varancas fruit."

"Of course." Zaruba sounded like he was humoring him.

The door to the training room opened and Gonza bowed. "Miss Kaoru has returned. Dinner will be in approximately one hour."

Kouga nodded. He should resume training for that time. Putting a hand on his sword, he reminded himself of everything he should be doing at that moment.

And he left the sword sheathed and went out to the garden, where Kaoru was almost certainly using the hour before dinner to begin a new painting.

He couldn't wait to see it.

\--end--


End file.
